My Friend Sophia: About Pride & Joy

Today, my friend Sophia, a Deputy District Attorney, spoke to my team about prison gangs, at my invitation. Her presentation (yes, PowerPointed) was exceptional, and staff told me that it was among, if not the single best presentation in the 2 previous years. To be honest, I was hardly surprised, because you have to know Sophia.

Sophia comes from an unique family: her father is a second-career teacher (after computer support of medical software), and body-surfs in the Pacific every day of the year; her mother is a second-career Public Health Nurse, investigating infectious disease; her brother, now "retired," is a world-champion surfer, whose unique pose adorns many a surf shop in CA (When I worked with adolescents, I had a signed poster, and kids would say, "You know Paul!!!" Yup); one sister received her doctorate in Literature and teaches in the UC system; and her younger sister is a gifted poet and artist.

Sophia graduated from high school and immediately wanted to get married. Her parents were not pleased, but eventually supported her. Her husband came with 2 very young daughters in his custody. Her husband turned out to be a "drugado" and a jerk. Sophia booted him to hell out and divorced. But there was the matter of these 2 young girls. Her ex-husband was nowhere to be found; the natural mother had lost custody because of her drug use; and the only options were keeping them or placing them in foster-care. For Sophia, there was no choice, and she became their foster-mother. They lived on ADFC & the foster-care stipend - the father was ordered to pay child support, but obviously did not. Sophia struggled, worked, and went to college at night. Given the circumstances, and undoubtedly the genetics, Sophia's daughters posed many behavioural and emotional problems; problems that led some to gossip, and others to outright suggest that she "bail" - "They're not your kids." This was the wrong thing to say to Sophia, and only strengthened her resolve to do what was right: she was the only parent they had known.

Sophia tested, applied, and was accepted into a prestigious law school, and everything was upward from there. Upon graduation, she was immediately hired by the District Attorney's Office, then passed the CA Bar Examination on her first attempt. She began with arraignments, moved to prosecuting domestic violence, headed the Task Force prosecuting gangs (in a corridor where most drugs are moved from Mexico, through San Diego, and on to LA), and now she prosecutes some of the most notorious and publicly-scrutinized cases in the County. More importantly, both of Sophia's daughters graduated from high school, and live lives beyond what anyone could have imagined - except Sophia. In my mind, they will always be a tribute to her love for her daughters.

And so, I hope the extent of my pride, admiration, and respect over a "presentation" is obvious. I have felt honored all day by my friend Sophia.