Stories of Personal Growth

I attended a mandatory departmental "conference" today that included counterparts from another region. It met my every expectation, and them some. It sucked. Alright, there was one worthwhile presentation on predicting recidivism among the most dangerous sexual offenders (with the exception of rapists), but I had assisted by proofing and contributing to the research material and had already "previewed" the presentation. One presentation, by a state official, was directed at a specific segment of the extended department, and for 90-minutes I had no clue what they were discussing; as is typical, loaded with undefined acronyms like a foreign language, or a story that's an inside joke.

The agenda included a mixture of presentation, followed by "team building exercises." Now, I can't say I was ever fond of these scripted activities drawn from some workbook, but I'm open to new experiences... No, that was a flat-out lie. My expectation was that these "group activities" (e.g. 12 people silently attempting to build the tallest "skyscraper" from construction paper, coffee cups, tape, paper clips, and popsicle sticks) would suck. Then, it is always necessary to "process" the experience; "What did you learn from this experience?" And I delicately broach the issue of mixed team "disciplines" in such activities. There are some healthcare disciplines within this department of psychiatry that are operating from a base of untested, unvalidated, "I just read this book I got from the self-help section at Borders," pseudo-science. I love case-conferences with my colleagues, I love being video-taped and it being examined by my colleagues, I love 2-way mirroring for team observation and critique by my colleagues. What did I learn from this "team-building" exprerience? NOTHING! I learned absolutely nothing, other than I am surprizingly tolerant, not impulsive, and am able to remain appropriate. And no, my group didn't win. The prize for the best "skyscraper?" Free tuition to the department's 36th annual Summer Institute, which I can already attend for free. Does this go on in other disciplines of medicine, or is it peculiar to psychiatry?

Then I went to get coffee with a few colleagues, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a former patient. These public interactions are always awkward for me anyway - I'm out with my brother, so is it impolite not to introduce him? - but this patient had disliked me (read that as euphemism), and our relationship was me, on my second day of work there, being assigned to resolve a grievance she had filed against the clinic . I had to clean out her chart of any reports and information not generated by the clinic, and sit silently by while an attorney from a health consumer's agency reviewed the chart and tried to draw me into the conversation: "You know, when you are given this diagnosis, you often are stereotyped..." Really? I've never heard that...

My colleagues, not being aware of the situation, continue their discourse as usual; Michelle referring to me as an "idiot" (we've been there before). I'm adding things to my coffee, off to the side, and this ex-patient is shooting me glances from the line. I have a general rule about ex-patients, that I will not acknowledge unless acknowledged, and I applied it here. I also hustled my butt out the front door of the store and waited for my colleagues. I don't believe that this general discomfort happens to dentists or surgeons. Unless, I suppose, they operated on the wrong limb or actually tormented you by hitting an exposed nerve. Is this, too, peculiar to psychiatry?

My only consolation today is that, because of the anti-terrorism mess at the airport, my counterparts must leave early tomorrow in order to enjoy their weekend. For this, I salute them. A fine job, you, even if you can't build an award-winning "skyscraper."